I have taken way to much time off from my blog.
I learned to crochet, as my daughter told you in a previous blog, I seem to be slightly (when I say slightly I mean completely) obsessed. I have completed many scarves, and blankets for 2 daughters. Another will be completed before bed tomorrow.
I have a pretty full schedule lately and I love it.
So, I logged in with no idea for a blog. But I figured it would just come to me….
Caution-- no pics, lots of words, and honesty below
I have been making changes in my life, ones that I never would have believed, or dreamed. But I am growing, learning, and maturing everyday.
I have made many bad decisions over the course of my life. I am sure I will continue to make mistakes but hopefully I think before acting. (the opposite of my norm)
I want to apologize to anyone and everyone that I have offended. (that list would be entirely too long)
My mouth has spilled mean, nasty, disrespectful, nonsense over the course of my life. I am trying to clean that up.
I have passed judgement, shared my opinion (when not asked for or even wanted), and gossiped.
This is not the actions I would like to be remembered by, so I am working hard on all of these as well. I apologize if these actions have hurt you.
A pleasure of mine was to stuff any kind of food into my face no matter the consequence. Then I would complain of my health, and weight. No more, I have realized that if I want to stuff a slice of greasy, cheesy, carbtastic pizza into my face, I will not complain but take mental note to be stronger to temptation next time. (or attempt to find a non greasy, no carb pizza)
Those of you that have known me for a long time, know the lack of religion, praying, church attendance. You also know my (ridiculous) control issues.
I have experienced the Grace of God, I have experienced forgiveness, I have learned many lessons from my mistakes and bad decisions. (and from others)
I believe everything happens for a reason.
(this is easy to say, but very difficult to see the reason when the 'thing' sucks)
From my understanding, Texas is part of something called the Bible belt. I have not done much research as what that exactly means, (uneducated slacker I know) but I can tell you that I have never been around as many people in my entire life that believe and turn to God.
As I am in the 'diaper' stage of my faith, I will not say that all my positive changes are all because of my belief.
I can tell you I made a decision to be the best person I possibly can. I take others into consideration. I let things go that would have consumed me with anger and hate in the past.
Not everyone has good intentions, but most people do.
With that being said, I know I have hurt people, sometimes intentional, as a reaction. I have to live with those mistakes. But I can assure you I have hurt people and it was not intentional.
Please try to think through the people that have hurt you, did they intentionally hurt you?
Have you given them the chance to make it up to you, or explain their side to you?
If you are the one that hurt someone have you apologized? Have you tried to change?
Letting go of negative feelings helps us to have happier lives. ( I love happy days, I want to share them with everyone I love)
Some of you are thinking, if I just walk away from that person it will make my life happier, this could be true, but it is not always that simple. Plus will you be hurting the other person by walking away? Will that sit on your conscience?
Self reflection is a high priority for me these days. And as luck would have it, I get tons of self reflection while crocheting!!
Next time you decide someone has done you wrong, try self reflection, what was your part in the situation? BE HONEST!
A phrase that a friend of mine uses makes sense to me "You need to clean up your own house before trying to help someone clean up their house".
I would really appreciate your thoughts.
What did you like/dislike about this post?